


Man's Best Friend

by Alcnolien



Series: Talia Amell: The Unauthorized Biography [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Competition, F/M, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcnolien/pseuds/Alcnolien
Summary: Originally started as a joke, a competition between Alistair and the Dog to decide who is the Warden's favorite quickly gets out of hand.





	1. The Bad Beginning

It all started innocently enough.

Akiva, the dog, had run off into the woods as he always did while everyone else worked on setting up camp for the night. No one was sure exactly why he did this. His master, Warden Talia Amell, thought he was scouting for darkspawn, but even she wasn't entirely positive.

This time, he returned with something in his mouth, which he set down at her feet as she worked on setting up a tent. He sat down, patiently waiting for her to finish before he let out a polite, quiet wuff.

“Hmm?” She glanced over at the dog, before looking further at the gift he had presented her with- not one, but _two_ freshly killed rabbits. She gasped. “For me?” The dog wuffed again, panting heavily so it looked like he was smiling.

“Awww, Akiva, you sweet boy!” She grinned, kneeling down to scratch him behind the ears. “Good boy! _Who's_ a good boy?” Akiva cocked his head questioningly, but his tail was already wagging furiously. “Come on, who's a good boy? Who's my _favorite_ boy?” He barked once, his whole body now wriggling as if his tail had taken over.

“That's right, it's you! Oh, yes, you are! _Yes, you are!_ ” The dog couldn't contain himself anymore, jumping up and running in several tight circles, before barreling over and trying to jump into Talia's arms. This might have been a problem for most people, but Talia simply laughed as she was lovingly crushed by an overexcited, 200 pound war dog.

Meanwhile, Alistair was watching all of this from nearby, chuckling as he chopped firewood. “Hey!” he called, trying to sound indignant despite his lopsided grin. “I thought _I_ was your favorite boy!”

Talia laughed harder, wheezing slightly under Akiva's weight. “S-sorry, Alistair, but you know what they say- there's always someone better!” Akiva barked again, nuzzling up under Talia's chin.

“Really now?” He grunted, splitting another log in two. “What does he have that I don't?”

“Hmmm... now there's a good question! Hey, Akiva.” The dog's ears perked up. “What do you have that Alistair doesn't?” The dog seemed to think for a second before he gave her a big, wet, sloppy dog kiss across her face. “Blech!” she sputtered, wiping off her face. “Well, he's certainly a very... _enthusiastic_ kisser.”

“Ah... so, _that's_ what you're, uh... _into_ , huh?”

“I'm sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Well!” He exclaimed, tossing his axe aside and striding over, “I'm not about to step aside without a fight!”

She cocked an eyebrow, propping herself up on her elbows. “What, you're going to fight my dog?”

“What? No! No, no, like, a competition, or, uh, something! You know....?” He coughed, scratching the back of his head. “See which of us is the best, win my lady's favor.... that sort of thing?”

“What's going on?” The two of them turned to find Leliana, head peeking curiously around the bundle of blankets she was carrying.

“Alistair and Akiva are fighting over who gets to be my favorite.”

“Really?” She grunted, shifting her load to one side. “How does one even decide that sort of thing? A competition?”

“Hmm? What's this about a competition?”

“These two are fighting over who gets to be the Warden's favorite.”

“Really? Marvelous! My dear warden, might I be able to throw my hat into the ring as well?”

“Maker, _no_ , Zevran, this is bad enough with just _these_ two.” Talia groaned, letting her head fall back against the ground. “Look, if you guys _really_ want to do this, _fine_ , but how do we even decide a winner?”

“How about worst body odor?” a faint voice called from the other side of camp.

“ _Very_ funny, Morrigan.” Alistair scoffed.

Leliana's brow furrowed in thought. “It... _would_ be difficult to choose a winner.”

Zevran nodded.

“What? Oh come on, I don't smell _that_ bad!” He paused, looking down at Talia. “... Do I?”

She coughed, glancing to the side. “... _Well....”_

“Oh, _come on_!”

She laughed. “I'm kidding, I'm kidding!”

“Why are you all just standing around?” Sten had paused in his own tasks to investigate. “It is getting late, and it would be wise to set up camp quickly so that we can rest.”

Zevran nodded toward the dog, who was still lying on top of Talia. “Alistair and Akiva are trying to prove who's the Warden's favorite.”

“Well, that is easily settled. You are both warriors, yes? Prove your worth in battle!”

Alistair glanced down at the dog, who seemed to nod as he started to get up, only for Talia to pull him back down by the collar. “ _No_ , no.”

Both Alistair and the dog whined in unison. “But-”

“No, I'm serious, now, if you two fight, you _both_ lose, and Sten _also_ loses for _suggesting_ it.”

“ _Okay_ , okay, we won't fight.”

“...So how _do_ we do this?”

“Hmmm... handsomest?”

Talia groaned at that suggestion. “Auugh, how do you expect me to _choose_?”

Alistair cocked an eyebrow. “Wait, I'm sorry, _I'm_ not the automatic winner here?”

Talia sat up, pinching Akiva's face and turning it toward Alistair. “Could you say no to this face?”

“.... _No...._ ”

The dog huffed a few times, pawing at the ground.

“Mmmm, I don't think so, boy, a hole-digging competition would be too messy.”

“Oh, what about...”

And so, what had started as a silly joke ended up becoming an actual, not a joke, honest-to-goodness competition. With rules and everything.

“Ok, ok. Here are the rules.” The two competitors stood at attention as Talia paced before them. “Over the next five days, I will present you both with a challenge. The winner of each challenge will get 10 points. Additionally, I can- and _will-_ grant or revoke points based on your behavior. Especially good behavior will earn points, while bad behavior will lose points. At the end of five days, whoever has the most points wins.” She paused, looking back and forth between the two. “Simple enough?”

Alistair looked down at the dog, and the dog looked back up at Alistair, who shrugged. “Sounds good to me.” The dog barked in agreement.

“Alright then, that's settled.”

Akiva sat up with all the dignity he could muster, and Alistair knelt down to bring himself to eye level.

“May the best... best, _uh_...” He glanced over to Talia for some help.

“Boy.”

He made a face, but went with it. “May the best boy win.”

Alistair held out his hand, and Talia couldn't help giggling as Akiva gracefully flopped his paw into it. She had her reservations about this whole thing, but it gave the group something to think about other than the insurmountable odds of stopping the Blight.

 _And hey_ , she thought with a grin. _Maybe this'll be fun._

 


	2. Round One

The first leg of the competition kicked off after breakfast the next morning. “Alright, boys, let's gather up! Time for the first challenge!” Talia called as she waved a brightly colored cloth above her head.

Alistair tugged at a strap on his pack, making sure everything was secure before setting it aside and joining the pair standing in front of her.

Talia looked over the trio before coughing slightly. “... Uh, Zevran?”

Zevran raised his eyebrows. “Yes, Warden? Is there a problem?”

Talia crossed her arms over her chest, her brows set in a straight line as she simply stared at him. He endured this with a straight face for as long as he could before breaking.

“Haha, alright, alright! I’ll leave you to it, my dear Warden. Best of luck to the both of you,” he said to the others with a bow, before turning away to join the rest of the group milling about nearby. Some spoke amongst themselves while others watched the proceedings with varying degrees of interest.

Talia held up a square of blue fabric, embroidered with a simple floral design. “Do you see this handkerchief?” She asked. Man and dog both nodded.

“Your challenge today is simple; I will tie this handkerchief onto my belt. Whoever has it by the time we set up camp tonight will be the winner.” She looked between the two. “Any questions?”

Alistair raised his hand, and Talia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “Y-yes, Alistair?”

“Uh…” he coughed, scratching at the back of his neck. “You said 'whoever has it,' not 'whoever _steals_ it’... right?”

“That’s right.”

“So, say _I_ steal it from _you_ first, then _Akiva_ steals it from _me_... that's ok?”

Talia grinned. “Absolutely.”

The dog snuffled a little before barking three times.

“No, you cannot get someone to steal it for you.” The dog let out a loud whine. “Not having fingers is no excuse.”

He barked again. “Hmmm... Yes, asking for advice is fine.” She glanced between the two. “... Anything else?”

The competitors shook their head. “Ok, then, I'm tying this onto my belt… here,” she grunted, pulling the knot tight by her hip. “And that's that! May the best boy win. Now,” she called, turning to face the rest of the group, “We ready to go?”

 

* * *

 

The first attempt went about as well as anyone could expect.

“Hold up! Keep your hands where I can see them.”

Alistair jerked his hand away, flashing the largest, saddest puppy dog eyes he could manage. “What, I can’t give an innocent, friendly hug to my favoritest mage in the world?”

“Not when you have ulterior motives, _no_. And besides,” she added, smirking. “You’re gonna hurt Wynne’s feelings if you say things like that.”

“Hey, now, second-favoritest mage isn’t anything to sneeze at!”

“Good! You can give _her_ a friendly hug, then.”

“ _Oooh_ , the cold shoulder, eh?” Alistair mock-shivered. “Such cruelty from such a beautiful woman!”

“Flattery won’t help you this time, pumpkin.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as she walked off. “... When has it ever?”

Akiva tried next, managing to successfully sneak up on Talia unnoticed, but giving himself away as he snapped at the handkerchief and missed, getting a mouthful of her robes instead, followed by a good scolding.

After several more failed attempts, Leliana slowed her pace to walk beside Talia.

“Have either of them gone to you yet?”

“Alistair started asking me for advice as soon as we left, but Akiva hasn’t come to me yet. He may have gone to Zevran.”

“Doesn’t seem to be helping either of them, does it?”

Leliana shook her head with a chuckle. “I must say, this is... _not_ what I expected, Warden.”

“Hmm? How so?”

“Well, one might say that this task is better suited for _my_ particular skill set, or Zevran’s. Those two are not exactly…” She paused, and both of them turned to look at Alistair as she searched for the right word. He chose that particular moment to scratch his behind.

“... _Subtle_.”

Talia couldn't hold back an almost malevolent grin. “Are you kidding? Those two are about as subtle as a Qunari in Orzammar.” She cackled, rubbing her hands together gleefully. “I haven’t had this much fun in _ages_.”

 

* * *

 

“Warden, it's starting to get dark. Perhaps we should consider stopping for the night?”

Talia glanced around the surrounding area- they had been walking along a stream for the last hour, and there seemed to be a decent clearing nearby. “You’re probably right. Everyone ready to stop?”

She laughed as a wave of relieved groans responded, accompanied by the staccato thuds of half the party immediately dropping their packs on the ground.

“Ok, while everyone else gets started, Alistair, Akiva, please come here.”

Alistair weaved his way over through the hustle and bustle of camp setup, feet dragging and shoulders hanging heavily. _Oh, dear,_ Talia thought with a sympathetic smile. _Guess I know who lost._ She then glanced over at Akiva- he was panting as steadily as ever, but his tail was tucked between his legs, and his ears laid flat against his head. _… ooor not. Huh._

She glanced back and forth between the two. “Alright, alright, you both look like you got scolded by the Grand Cleric herself. What happened, did you lose it?”

Alistair rubbed the back of his head as he glanced aside, shrugging sheepishly. “As far as I know, Akiva has it.”

Talia turned to the dog in question. “Akiva?”

The dog huffed a few times before letting out two sharp barks, and her brow furrowed. “You _do_ have it, huh? Well, I suppose congratulations are in order, but... I feel like there's a ‘ _but_ ’ coming.”

The dog whined slightly, eyes rolling as he looked off to one side, and Talia's stomach twisted. She knelt down to his eye level.

“Akiva, where is my handkerchief?”

The dog huffed, turning even further away.

“Akiva, look at me.”

He whined as he turned to meet her eye, like a rusty toy moving with great difficulty. She sighed, brow furrowed.

“Come on, boy, this isn’t like you. What happened, did you rip it? I can fix a rip.”

He let out a long, high pitched whine, which dovetailed suddenly into a loud, sharp yalp.

She swore she could feel her heart stop beating. “... you _didn't_.”

The dog simply hung its head.

Palm met face with an audible slap. “Of course. Of course!” She groaned, massaging her temple as Alistair glanced rapidly between the two, brow furrowed in confusion. “Okaaay, well, _that’s_... gonna be a _little_ harder to fix.”

A few more barks and a long whine. “ _No_ , no, I’m not mad,” she sighed, shaking her head and standing back up. “I suppose it’s my fault. I never said you _couldn’t_ eat it, after all.”

“ _Pfffttt_!” Alistair snorted before he could stop himself, clapping a hand over his mouth as Talia shot him a Look. He struggled to keep his composure as her glare bore into him like a dagger, shoulders shaking under the strain, until she looked back to the dog with a sigh.

“Alright, well, I can’t really declare a winner until Akiva is able to... _produce_ it, so let’s leave it alone for now and go help the others set up camp. Akiva, you… _ugh_... let me know.”

The dog barked in affirmative before trotting away to help find kindling. She sighed, rubbing at an ache in her shoulder. “So much for that handkerchief, I guess.” She muttered to herself. “And it was a gift from Ser Jacob, too....”

“What, you don't want it back?” Alistair asked as he walked up to stand next to her, an infuriating grin plastered on his face.

She raised an eyebrow, her face as flat as her voice. “... Would _you_?”

“Oh, I dunno,” He shrugged. “Rinse it out in the river a few times, and it's good as new.”

A smile finally cracked through her stony expression as she chuckled. “ _Well_ , you’re certainly welcome to try it yourself, if you want.”

His grin widened, somehow. “Will it get me any points?”

She shrugged, turning away to grab her pack and walk back towards the rest of the group. “Mmmm, perhaps. _But_ ,” she added, calling back to him over her shoulder, “If you’re looking for ways to get on my good side, you _could_ always help me set up my tent.”

Alistair hesitated, momentarily transfixed as he tried his best to commit the image before him to memory- the sunset behind her, the fiery glow reflected in her auburn hair, the way her nose crinkled when she grinned.

Then he smiled, hefting his pack with a grunt as he trotted after her.

“For you? Anything.”


	3. Round One: Intermission

Long after the rest of the group had started cleaning up after dinner, Alistair remained seated by the fire, still picking at the remains of his bowl of stew.

“Not hungry?”

“Hmm?” Alistair turned to find Talia peering over his shoulder. He sighed, shaking his head as he set the bowl down on one knee. “No, it's not that, I was just... thinking.”

“Thinking? About what? Anything bothering you?”

“No, no...”

She grinned. “You sure? You're not mourning your frankly _devastating_ loss to Akiva??”

He laughed, scooting over and patting the seat next to him. “I think if any of us had a devastating loss, today, it was _you_.”

Her weak chuckle deviated into a sign as she settled in next to him. “I suppose you're right. All you lost was a little dignity-”

“Not that I had much in the first place.”

“-But _that_ was my favorite handkerchief.”

Alistar glanced over to her, a bemused smirk on his face. “Talia, I have to ask… why _did_ you use your _favorite handkerchief_ for this?" 

She huffed, dragging her fingers back through her hair. “I-I dunno? In retrospect it wasn’t exactly one of my _best_ ideas.”

Alistair snorted, shaking his head as he turned back to engulf another mouthful of stew. He chewed thoughtfully as he stared into the fire, watching as the flames flickered and danced across the logs.

“... It was a gift, right?”

She nodded. “From Ser Jacob… he was a dear friend of mine.”

“ _Ser_ Jacob... he was a templar?”

She nodded. “He took me to the circle when we found out I was a mage.”

“He _wha-“_ Alistair started before choking on his mouthful of food, doubling over as he descended into a fit of coughing. Talia couldn’t do much besides pat his back until he’d managed to regain his breath.

“S-sorry, but I-“ he coughed again, clearing his throat and inhaling deeply, before turning to look her square in the eye. “He... he took you to the circle? _Away_ from your family?”

“Yyyyyes… that _does_ tend to be how the circle operates, last I checked.”

Alistair’s lips pinched together as he struggled to put his thoughts into words. “And... this put you on… _friendly_ terms with him?”

She laughed. “Well, when you put it like _that,_ I can see how you’d be confused!”

He sat back, staring at her in bewilderment for what felt like too long, before sighing and turning back to his food. “... Must be _quite_ a story behind that.”

She shrugged. “Not _really…_ I was, what, six years old? When we first left, I was really upset, and crying-“

“Understandable.”

“And the other Templar was yelling a lot... You know, I was _scared_ . But he tried to calm me down, cheer me up even.” She smiled, chuckling softly as she sat forward. “He gave me candy, told me stories… I wasn’t exactly _happy,_ of course, but he made the whole thing a lot easier." 

“Even after we got to the circle, he’d check in on me when he could. He used to say I reminded him of his... who was it, his sister? Cousin? Someone like that.”

Alistair considered all this, chewing very deliberately before swallowing.

“... Sounds like you were really lucky.” He leaned forward to set his now-empty bowl beside his feet. “Experience tells me that Mages and Templars tend not to get along too well.”

She sighed. “True. And yet,” she murmured, leaning into him so that her head rested on his shoulder, “Here _we_ are.”

He glanced down at her, one corner of his mouth quirking up, before shifting to wrap one arm around her and nuzzle into her hair. “Yeah...” he breathed, fingers entwining together as they settled comfortably against each other. “Here we are.”

Silence fell, disturbed only by the crackle of the fire and the distant chirping of crickets. Alistair sighed, his mind wandering as his thumb stroked absently over her knuckles. This was... _nice_ . They were always so busy- travelling, fighting darkspawn, lifting centuries-old curses, adopting new companions… They hadn’t been a lot of time to just… _be_ , like this.

“... You actually remind me of him, sometimes.”

“Hmm?” He opened his eyes- he hadn’t even realized they were closed- and glanced down to find her gazing back up at him, momentarily catching him off guard. “I-I remind you of who, now?”

“Ser Jacob.”

His eyebrows twitched up. “Really...? How so?” A smirk slowly spread on his face as he leaned over to meet her at eye level. “Was he devastatingly handsome?”

Talia bit her lower lip to suppress a giggle, which was made more difficult when he started waggling his eyebrows. “Well, there _is_ that,” she conceded, “But that’s not what I was thinking of.”

“Well, let me think, what else could it be… We were both templars, that’s _too_ obvious… is he also secretly a royal bastard? Not from Ferelden, of course, but perhaps from some distant  country, pining for his homeland- No, that can’t be it…” He scratched at his chin in mock thought. “Does he... have an unparalleled love of fine cheeses? No, no, _wait_ , I know, I know, I’ve got it. I have this birthmark on the inside of my left knee that’s shaped like a horse. _Please,_ tell me he has one just like it.”

She snorted, burying her face in her hands. She doubled over as a deep, hearty laugh bubbled up, rocking her whole body to the point where she could barely stay seated. It took her some time to compose herself, sitting up as she caught her breath, only to find Alistair gazing up at her with an disarmingly innocuous smile, chin propped up on one hand.

“... So, I take it it’s _not_ the birthmark thing, then.”

Talia practically barked with laughter.

“Should I keep guessing?”

“M- _Maker_ , no,” she managed to wheeze between fits of laughter, “O-or we’ll be here all night.”

“What is it, then?”

Her laughter finally petered out with one final wheeze, and she wiped at her eyes before gazing up at him with a warm smile. “... No matter what, you always know how to make me laugh.”

“... That’s what reminded you of him?”

She nodded, chuckling. “And at this rate, you’ll probably be the death of me if I’m not careful.”

He laughed weakly as he scratched at the back of his neck. “Well, I, uh _..._ ” he stammered, glancing away sheepishly, “I’ll try not to overdo it, but I’m afraid I can’t help being a _little_ selfish once in a while.”

Her brow furrowed, head tilting in confusion. “.... ‘Selfish’?”

He turned back to face her, grinning ear to ear. “Nothing makes me happier than hearing you laugh.”

She burst out laughing again, doubling over and headbutting him in the shoulder as she clung to his shirt, no longer able to hold herself upright.

“Aaaaahh, yes, _that’s_ the stuff,” he cooed, turning to pull her into a hug, “Music to my ears.”

“You’re such a _doof!”_ she whined, muffled by his shirt.

“That may be so,” he conceded, planting a kiss on her forehead, “But I’m _your_ doof.”

She just laughed harder, and he smiled, one hand snaking up to embed itself in her hair. They could have stayed like that all night, had it not been for an all too familiar whine.

The two of them sat up to look down at the dog sitting patiently next to them. “... Akiva? You wanna join the cuddle pile?”

The dog whined again, his ears flattened as his eyes rolled toward the edge of the clearing.

“ _‘It's time’_ …? Oh! _Oh_ , right! That!” She groaned, smacking herself on the forehead. “Okay, okay, let’s go finish this.” She glanced back over to Alistair, brow furrowed apologetically as she stood up. “I’m sorry, but…”

He sighed, looking away with an obviously fake pout. “No, no, I get it. You'd rather examine dog droppings than spend another moment with me, I understand.”

She snorted, smirking down at him. “If you’d like, you can come and help clean it up.”

His lips pinched together in something halfway between smile and grimace. “Yeeeaaah, I think I’ll pass.”

“Really? Okaaay….” She shrugged, turning away to follow the dog as she pulled a scrap of paper out. Alistair watched as she marked something down, glancing back at him with a terrifyingly chipper smile before vanishing into the woods.

He sighed. “... Well, I _may_ yetlive to regret this.”


End file.
